Constipation on Route #2

Sitting in the driver's seat,

with one thing on my mind,

to get to my destination

before the end of time.

 

Suddenly I'm sitting there

and spot trouble up ahead.

The road is blocked, nothing's moving,

I should have stayed in bed.

 

Try to turn off, but it's too late,

my wheels are caught in glue.

Traffic's dead, my car is stuck.

There's constipation on route #2.

 

Flipping on the radio

to find out what's the matter.

I turn the dial, hoping to smile,

instead it gets me madder.

 

I hear a story on the news

that takes me by surprize.

Even though he's done nothing to earn it,

Obama's won the Noble Peace Prize.

 

Oh fuck! I say.

How can someone be rewarded

when all he does is sit on his ass

and go back on his word?

 

I sniff the air, it smells like gas,

it just might be a turd.

 

Quick I change the station,

I need to turn the page,

thunder clouds are up ahead

and my bowels are in a rage.

 

Inching forward, here we go

trudging through the mud.

There's a movement in my gut,

I just hope it's not a dud.

 

Suddenly, I hear the news

a cow has stumbled onto the road.

Cars are backed up for miles,

with no where left to go.

 

I push ahead, there is no choice,

I'm already where I'm at.

 

Stuck in traffic

down on the road,

all backed up,

ready to explode,

trouble up ahead,

with no where to go,

just sitting and waiting,

to dump this heavy load.